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周子湘:漂泊的意义,不是回到故乡
来源:yabo88登录注册网 | 周茉  2020年09月17日07:41
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2020年,最早一批“80”后已经40岁了。

他们从青春期的懵懂少年转型为社会的中坚力量,并逐渐拥有稳定的形态和鲜明的特征,一路走来,犹疑与执着并举,迷惘与坚定并在。值此节点,yabo88登录注册网特推出“‘80后’yabo88登录对话录:个体·代际·经验”专题,通过与八位知名“80后”yabo88登录、评论家、诗人的深入交流,力图展现他们的新风貌,以及他们对生活、yabo88登录创作上的思考。此外,专题亦约请相关评论家关于“80后”yabo88登录的评论文章,多角度阐释“80后”yabo88登录群体的创作。希望在本次专题中,我们能够对“80后”yabo88登录群体有更多新的发现与思考。 让我们在回望中细致梳理,在展望中奋力前行。

 

周子湘:漂泊的意义,不是回到故乡

周茉/文

新加坡著名景区,广场上矗立着洁白的莱佛士雕像,一个将新加坡建为世界重要国际港口的英国人,一百多年前从这里登陆。他的身后,流淌着新加坡的母亲河,两岸高大的芭蕉树摇动绿叶,把一个姑娘裹进怀抱。

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——《慢船去香港》

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我的疼痛,不是异国他乡

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zhouzixiangbushijiaojinderen,80niandaizaigongrenjiatingchengzhangqilai,youxiaoshiduosuidedidiyaozhaogu,jialidaxiaoshitadoucanyunazhuyi,shigekangdanzidezhuxingu。woyizhibumingbai,jirantilishangdekuleidoubushiwenti,weishenmetafanfushuohaiwaidagongzuinanrenshouyixiangdegudu。

“nibuzhidao,wotaixiangyabo88dengluzhucele,danshimeirenzhichi,haiwaidagong(yabo88dengluzhuceyufabiao)tainanle,” zhouzixiangshuo,“muqinqiangliefandui,juedegaoyabo88denglumeiyong,meiqiantu,nengdangfanchima?” yabo88dengluzhucezheitiaolushang,zhouzixianggujunfenzhan。

yabo88登录 jiatingbulijie,zuochudenuliyuchengjidoushifouding。shenbianmeiyoupengyouduiyabo88dengluyouxingqu,nengtongtafenxiang。zaixinjiapodianzichang,shangbanbunengchidao,zhouzixiangmeicizaoquchejian1gexiaoshi,xiuxishirenshao,nengduoxieanjingkanshudeshijian。qitadagongjiemeidaizhelingshiguazi,bianliaotianbiankanta,juezhetaxianggeshazi。meirenguanxinzhouzixiangfabiaoleshenme,duoyizhangbaozhibaodongxibishangmiandengchudexinxigengnengxiyintamen。

yabo88登录 “xihuanyabo88dengluzhucederengengzhuzhongjingshencengmiandejiaoliu。haiwaidagong,dajiadougudu,danbushiwozheizhonggudu。tamendegudushimeiyounanpengyou、bunengchuquwandegudu。”

weiyinengjiaoliuyabo88dengludeduixiang,shiwangshangdeyigelaoshi。huiguohou,zhouzixiangbaomingcanjia“xinjiaoyuwangluoshifanxueyuan”dexianshangshouke,qizhongyimenjiaoshouzhexuehegudianshici,tachangbazijixiedexiaoshuofajineimenkedejiangshikan。“tagaosuwozijideyueduganshouheyabo88dengluzhucejianyi,jilewohendabangzhu。”

zhouzixiangzaixiaoshuozhongxielehenduonvxing,tabixiadenvxingzongshitengtongde。xiangyipianpinglunsuoxie:tamendetengtongbushiqingchundexiaodaxiaonao,bushiwuyuyanzuzhihoudemingankongxu,ershilaizishenghuomoliyuzhongjideqiefuzhitong。tamentouruyiduanduanganqing,zheixieganqingqishenyuyinyingzhong,toushedaoxianshishenghuo,dadihuibeiyanyichengyinvrenweiyuanzuidegouxuebagua。zuoweinvyabo88denglu,zhouzixianggongxianleyunanxingzhudaodeshehuisuobutongdeshijiao,tajiangnvxingzhiyuzhongxin,xiximiaomotamendexinlu,shitamendeganshouchuandichuwendu。

tibizhiqian,zhouzixiangbingbuqueqieqingchuzijidejiaose。“zhidaodasuanxietamen,wocaifaxian,wojiushinvgong,shenzaiqizhong,hetamenyiyang。wobubeiminzhefukan,yebuyangshi,weitamengegongsongde,woshizheigequntideyiyuan,tamenshiwo,woyeshitamen。”

那些花花绿绿的钞票,寄回家里,家里人从银行取出的,是厚厚一沓人民币。红色的纸,像女工们的血液,河流一样流回自己的家乡。

——《新加坡河的女儿》

zheipian《xinjiapohedenver》,xieleyigenvhaizaiyiguodedagongshenghuo,haiyouzhudingwujierzhongdeaiqing。zhouzixianggaosuwo,zheipianxiaoshuoweizijierxie。taduguodagongyabo88denglu,duguozhengxiaoqiongdeshige,“tadeshixiedehenhao,dagongneizhongtong,wonengshenqiediganwudao。”

yabo88登录 “dagongquntideguanjiancishitongma?”

“buyiding,wobuganwangyi。youderenbuyidingjuedetong,takenengjuedeshibiededongxi。jiuwogerenlaishuo,shiyouyizhongtonggande。”

tongganshishenme?zhouzixiangzuiyihandeshi,ruguoyoubijiaohaodehuanjingnengjiechudaoyabo88dengludehua,huiduizijideyabo88dengluzhucegengyoubangzhu。

“niduiyabo88denglufeichangreai,yefeichangxiangyabo88dengluzhuce,danshinimeiyouqudao。meiyouqudaoshishenmeyisi?xinxishifengbide,xiangxuenidoubuzhidaogensheixue,meidifangnongmingbaiyabo88denglushizenmehuishi,zenmenengxiehao。zhengshifabiaoqudaoyemeiyou,chulewangshangsuibianxieyixie,jiushikangeyouxiangxiatou。”

从浅滩到江河

ruguo“80hou”dequntigexingbeidingyiweiziwoyuzhangyang,zaizhouzixiangshenshang,zheifentezhibianchengleneilianshideyinrenhejianchi。

ershichutoudenianji,zhishenquhaiwaidagong,nagenvhaihuizhenxinyuanyini?“tingweiqude,xishenglewodeqingchunhelixiang,congxuexiaobiye,woxianghaohaoyabo88dengluzhuce。danshimeibanfa,jialineigeqingkuang,nizhangbukaizui。”

yabo88登录 tuoxiehetuirang,zaishenghuoliyou,zaiyabo88denglulimeiyou。“weiquhuachengledongliba,wogengyaozhuizhuyabo88denglulixiang”,zhouzixiangshuo,“xianzaiwojialidoubuzhidaowozaixieshenme,tamenyebukan。”

fengfudeshenghuojingyansuzaolezhouzixiangzhashihouzhongdeyabo88denglufengge,xiexiaoshuo,tabukunnan。“yiqihecheng,woxiexiaoshuohenshun。bushihuahuaxiechulaibutingbideshun,shisilushun,qingxi,bukaqiao。haoxiangzheigexiewanle,xiagejiuzaineidengzhewo。”

yabo88登录 zhouzixiangjuede,xiexiaoshuohenkuaile。

yabo88登录 “meiyouguotongkudeshihouma?”

yabo88登录 “youa,shenghuodangzhongyoutongku,xiexiaoshuomeiyou。”

“tibihuiwanghaiwaidagongderizi,buhuiyoutongkuma?”

“neihaishishenghuobenshendejingli。woxiexiaoshuoshixiangshoudezhuangtai,zhende,henkuaile。woshenghuokuailedelaiyuan,hendayibufendoushixiexiaoshuozaizhicheng。”

yabo88登录 zhouzixiangjiangyabo88dengluzhucebiyuweitanlianai,nixinshangduifang,duifangyexihuanni,liangrenzaiyiqizhiquxiangtou,naobieniuyenenghenkuaihehao。“nimenbiciyoukewang,bujiushizaitanlianaima?”

yabo88登录 haiwaidagongshizhouzixiangdeyiduanjingli,youyitianxiejinle,tadeyabo88dengluzhucegaiwanghechuqu?duicizhouzixiangbingbudanxin。“henduorenhuiwentuolidagongshenghuonixieshenmeni?duiwolaishuobuchengwenti,yinweiwoyoubuzhuoshenghuodenengli。”

yabo88登录 xie《naguanren》,zhouzixiangzoujinweiqushiqinqijinxingbinzangmeirongdehuazhuangshi,miaohuileyigebianyuanquntideneixinshijie;xie《nvyouxialanlan》,zhouzixiangzijidaojijiangchaiqiandechengzhongcun,hecunminmenlaokeliaotian,youlezainanyouanpaixiayulaoguanggunjiajiehundejinchengnvhaidegushi;xie《luoyuzhuchuanqi》,zhouzixiangcaifangledaoyunnanzhixingrenwudejidujingcha……

xiexiaoshuoyidingyaoyousheshenchudidexianchangganma?woyouxieyihuo。dangmougerenwuhuoshijianzugouxiyinni,zhanyousucaidejichushangjinxingxugousihushiguanchangshoufa。

“bu,wojueduibuzheiyangxie,”zhouzixianghenkending,“renwushilinghun,renwubunengzao。henduorenwuweishenmebianpinghua,xugoutaiduole,doukaocai。yaomeshizhen,yaomedanbo。duiwolaijiangxiaoshuodiyidianbushizhuagushi,bushizhuaqingjie,shizhuaren。”

yiqian,zhouzixiangkandaoshenmejiuxieshenme,xiebieren,xieziji。xianzaitagengshenrudiguanzhuhesikaozhenggeshehui。

yabo88登录 xinzuozhongpiankehuanxiaoshuo《yueqiuyixiangren》,fabiaozai《xiaoshuoyuebao·yuanchuangban》。haishidagongqingniandegushi——zhouzixiangxiangxiangle60nianzhihoudediqiuyuyueqiu,zhurengongjiekeweileyiminyueqiu,yaowanchengqinshihuangbingmayongdnafuzhiderenwu,xiaoshuozaikehuanxiangxianglidewaiqiaoxiatansuorenwuneixinshijie。

yabo88登录 zuichutaduikehuanbingbuganxingqu,jiqizenmenengherenxiangtibinglun?zhidaokanleyibujilupian《yuzhoudabaozha》,“xiyinwodeshi,talimianyeyourenwenxingdedongxi。bingbuzhishilengbingbingdekeji。”

zhouzixiangchangshuoqizhangchengzhidexiaoshuo《beifangdehe》,xiandaizhishiqingniantansuorenshengdejingshenlicheng。yibianshihuanghe、huangshui、yongdinghe、eerqisiheheheilongjiang,yibianshizhurengongzhuisuitamendeqingchunzuji。tahenxihuanzheipianxiaoshuo,weizijizhenggeqingnianshiqidailaishenyuanyingxiang。“hetadexuduoxiaoshuoyiyang,zheipianxiaoshuochengxianchuxiangzhengyiyunnonghoudeshihuafengge。shixiaoshuo,yeshiyishoushengmingzhangshi。”

yabo88登录 yihuang,“80hou”nianjinbuhuo。rendaozhongnian,zhouzixiangdenaohaizhongwushucichuxianneitiao“beifangdehe”——xiangshengmingjinruheliudezhuangkuoyushenliuzhichu。

“yiqianwoshiqiantanlidexiaoyuxia,bengyabeng。xianzaihuikan,zijiyouhenduowuzhidexingwei,baokuoduiyabo88dengluzhucedewuzhi,douhuiyou。nihuodeyueduodeshihou,yuehuigandaozijidewuzhi。”

“xianzaini?”

“wobushineizhongduishenghuoyaoqiuhengaoderen。woweiyideyaoqiu,yougeanjingdedifangxiexiaoshuojiuxing。”

houlai,zhouzixiangtedixieleyiduanhua,zhuwoyidingyaochengxianzaiwenzhong——“zheishiwozuizhenshizhenchengdexiangfa”:

jiarunizhanzaishanxibentenghouzhongdehuangheanbian,jiuhuimingbai,gerenzaizhenggeshidaizhongdemiaoxiao。nianlingrangnijinglileshiqing,yijingyouzijidepanduanli,zhidaoqingfudeshengmingyinggaiguolvdiao,liuxiachendiandiandeshengmingzhiliang。hanjiangrangwosikao,getideshengming,ruhezuizhonghuodeshenghuodezhenzhengyiyi。weiheshiwodongde,wulunzenyangbentengdeheshui,zuizhongdouhuibiandepingjingershenliu。